As I’m knee deep in a paperwork nightmare, I can’t help but freak out a little. I question my decision to change my legal gender, wondering whether it’s worth all this hassle. Things were fine before. Well, things weren’t fine before, but things were fine, or… functional. When will it be fine again? Maybe I just made the biggest mistake of my life and inherited … Continue reading Doubt
Last Thursday November 1st I had my official Court Date in the state of California, wherein I legally changed my name and gender. This small legal victory been a long time coming for me, even though it was set in motion just recently when I discovered that I could file a court order even as a non-US citizen. Court Requirements Gathering the requirements was relatively … Continue reading Legally Transgender
Last anyone heard, I was on an “indefinite” break from Testosterone. Well, that indefinite break lasted a grand total of about 2 weeks, and I’ve been back on T ever since, which makes for a very confusing grand total of about 9 months, ish. Although 2 weeks is not very long, and this was my second-time-off/third-time-on, this time it was… different. The reasons for that … Continue reading Testosterone: 9 months
The Break Up Back in early June, I was giving up on T for good – or at least, “indefinitely” – because it wasn’t working out. The day-to-day mental torture was unnecessary; it was ultimately not worth it. And if I was ever going back on T, it had to be on different terms: I had to want something different. But therein lies the catch. … Continue reading Testosterone: Our Rocky Relationship
Switching Switching jobs (or schools or towns) is probably the best opportunity one gets to make any sort of big change, especially something like name and pronouns. I’ll admit it was relatively easy, though not quite straightforward. A few people at my new job had already met me a year prior, and were introduced to me with my old name and old pronouns. On top … Continue reading Slip and Switch
The Perfect Fit A newly minted parent is tasked with the highly anticipated and/or much dreaded job of choosing a name for their baby. This soon-to-be alive little tiny person has yet to form an identity, showcase a personality, settle into habits and quirks; he/she/it/they are just an idea, an unformed blob of dreams and fears. The name that the parent(s) choose is based on … Continue reading The Story of My Name
Monday I started a new job. With a new name. And new pronouns. All I can say is: WOW. Old Job A little less than a year ago, I was faced with a similar situation. A shiny new job, thus the perfect chance to change pronouns. But that opening was quickly shut, either by myself or the circumstances, or both. Regardless, it wasn’t the right … Continue reading Monday
Transition is a unique path each transgender person takes. Then Historically, it was assumed that there was a prescribed path to transition; that each person had to jump through certain hoops in a specified sequence, in order to first “qualify” as being truly transgender, and then actually be “allowed” to transition. Each step was strictly laid out, and any deviations – whether external or internal … Continue reading The Road Less Traveled By
Last summer I sent an email to the Transgender Law Center and asked for referrals to a trans-friendly immigration lawyer in San Francisco. The lawyer I met with was very perceptive, super LGBT friendly. (It is always very affirming to walk into a place and not be afraid of being completely honest, and moreover be respected for who you are.) Mexico I was born in … Continue reading Legal Gender Change, the International Version
What I find fascinating is that, when presented with missing information, given a lack of evidence, or even evidence to the contrary, people desperately cling to their initial assumptions. And nothing is more unshakeable than the gender assumption. Rarely have people corrected themselves (at least in front of me) from making what they deemd was an “erroneous” gender assumption. And when they do, it is … Continue reading Illusions
genderqueer.me 