While I’ve never participated in online dating (or offline dating, for that matter), the socio-psychologist in me is always up for curious poking. Needless to say I joined a few dating sites (match.com, eharmony.com, bigchurch.com… [what? I was really curious; people really need bible study partners apparently]), looked around for a whopping 30 minutes, and having no real need for it (practically married now), never returned again. A few asexual specific dating sites have cropped up, and I don’t know of any off-hand but trans-related dating sites also exist somewhere in the nethernet.
One would think that those will have quite the limited selection though, in terms of numbers, location, compatibility, etc. It’s hard enough finding a random stranger who you’d potentially like to meet, let alone when narrowing it down to a scarcely populated niche. Which is why it makes sense for people like us, with sexual orientations and gender identities that could be considered and often are an obstacle to dating, to join mainstream dating sites. Lo and behold, assumptions confirmed!
- Zero matches at match.com for “neutrois” and “asexual”
- Urgh, huge questionnaire to search at eharmony.com, but… read on…
- Transgender and OK Cupid (over 100 pages of results)
- Asexual and OK Cupid (98 pages of results)
- Neutrois and OK Cupid (12 results)
Neutrois and mainstream online dating?
Yep. That last one sure surprised me.
Also, I’d be willing to bet OK Cupid is or is seen as a more progressive or trendy dating site, hence the presence of neutrois people there as opposed to the zero in match.com. I’ve only recently started to read OK Cupid’s blog OK Trends – a data-pornucopia of dating statistics for us psychology and number nerds. I’ll do my duty and post anything juicy as it comes.
4 thoughts on “Online Dating”
Well I don’t know about you but I boycott any social/dating site that requires me to choose a binary gender. OK Cupid doesn’t even let me search profiles without gendering myself, so I’m not surprised that non-binary identified people and especially neutrois/non-gender people aren’t flocking there.
I agree with you, and furthermore I honestly don’t know of ANY “mainstream” dating site that offers options outside of the binary (or doesn’t make you choose your partner’s gender as well). Hence my surprise at actually finding non-binary identified people AT ALL.
Tried it for two weeks, and after talking endlessly for two weeks and three women, knew it wasn’t for me. Friends tried pushing me to paid ones like eHarmony…I didn’t plan on wasting $$$ for a pointless or usually fruitless endeavor.
Forget dating I just want more friends that are Neutrois. Any successful relationship requires a good foundation of friendship in my opinion. Sigh.