Gender Odyssey

Busy Bee

No posts in almost two weeks? Pathetic, I know. But usually when this happens there’s a darn good reason for it, and now there are plenty. Here’s some of the busi-ness that’s been keeping me from my first love (all of you, of course!).

Personal Portfolio

One of the things that’s been on my radar this month is updating my personal portfolio. I’m a web designer/developer by profession, so having a uniquely beautiful online presence is essential.

What’s remarkable is that I decided to include a “Super Secret FAQs” section (which is not that secret, really) where I essentially come out as transgender, in a very public way. In it I bluntly state that I am transgender, that my preferred pronouns are “they” or “he.” Moreover, I point out that I am very passionate about transgender advocacy and education, and that I dedicate a great amount of personal time to this endeavor. As I’ve mentioned, I go to great lengths to avoid linking these two online identities, so it is hard to talk about either – when I am so proud of both! – without giving too much away.

So there it is now, out in the open.

On the Hunt

Secondary to completely redesigning my personal site is that I’ve been passively scouting out new jobs. Today I received an informal offer! This is very exciting news. As anyone who has been on the hunt knows, it has kept me quite distracted, both mentally and emotionally.


On Monday, I passed my driver’s test! More good news, followed by a bit of bad news. My girlfriend failed hers, but not because she actually failed – she had ZERO errors, while I had 5! – but because she got that one dipshit who fails everybody. We were at the DMV all day, from 10 to 4, and never once saw even one person pass with this instructor. Talk about bad luck.

But passing the driver’s test isn’t what most transpeople worry about when visiting the Dear DMV – it usually has something do with updating certain legalities, such as name and gender. Well, trust me, it was not far from my mind.

Ever since discovering that I could indeed get a court ordered name and gender change, despite being a non-citizen, I have been in a rush to get this done. [In California, you need surgery to get a court-ordered gender change, but in any state you do not have to be a citizen, or even a legally documented resident, to get a name change]. Within days I was in my lawyer’s office double checking the details and getting the go-ahead. Alas, just when the goal seems within reach is exactly when time slows down the most. At the moment I am waiting to get an updated surgeon’s letter, because despite having this letter already, the language used must be very specific. As much as I want to file my papers at the courthouse yesterday, I’d much rather get everything right the first time, even if it takes just a little bit longer.

Nevertheless, a trip to the DMV is like throwing salt on an open wound, as it brings this issue to the forefront; it continues to emphasizes how wrong my current legal name and gender feel to me, and why I am so desperate to change them.

Gender Spectrum

As you can tell by now, I never really got around to writing that round-up on the Gender Spectrum conference in Berkeley two weeks ago. The primary reason for this is that I came down with a terrible flu that weekend (by Sunday evening I was curled up in a corner in the volunteer room). Thankfully I got the chance to enjoy most of the conference; unfortunately I was knocked out for the rest of the week. On top of it all, my girlfriend was far away in Mexico visiting her family, where internet was too flaky to do FaceTime. To compensate, here is last year’s take on the conference.

Gender OdysseyGender Odyssey

Oh that’s right, I almost forgot: I’m getting on a plane in 36 hours, and giving a workshop the very next day! A workshop which – mind you – I have yet to prepare for. While it’s going to be very similar to the presentation I gave at the Philadelphia Trans Health Conference, there are some key changes I have in mind which need some review, namely cutting the presentation time and increasing the discussion time. I will also be facilitating at least two (maybe three) other workshops.

Yet after going to all these conferences, I can’t help but notice the dearth in certain areas. This motivation to fill in the gaps has prompted me to already think about next year’s conferences and workshops.

Follow Me Around

Busy enough? That was definitely longer than intended.

Remember to follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr (take your pick) and keep up with me on a more regular basis. Depending on your social preference, you will receive short updates, awesome pictures, links to interesting articles, get your questions answered, and mostly receive the minimum dosage of trans* goodness that we all need to stay sane.

11 thoughts on “Busy Bee

  1. Wow – congratulations on all the progress, gender- and otherwise! And blimey, I wish I was that productive – good luck for the conference as well!


  2. Thank you for continuing to post what your gender pronouns are. 🙂 I admit to using “he” in my mind at times, but never out loud of course. Have fun at Gender Odyssey!

    And you remind me… I still need to do a Gender Spectrum post!

    1. In person I have never gotten “they,” which is why I am starting to be more adamant in demanding he (versus the alternative). The people who get it actually call me both and are always confused – even those that know me well – which speaks to the sweet spot where I want to be. In their mind, both are equally incorrect, so they keep re-correcting themselves over and over!

      And I’d love to hear your thoughts on Gender Spectrum!

      1. LOL. Mice analogies. i liked the Bee’s thing – reminds me of an old old SNL skit I saw when I was like 5 on the killer bees. Mice are so pase’. I do love that gender icon you posted!

  3. Maddox,
    I can’t thank you enough for co-facilitating the group with me yesterday and the conference. If the plane is going down I know who to look for to pilot the plane for a safe landing. Thank you for all your hard work.

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