After a month of blogging about neutrois identity and asexuality, I haven’t really taken the time to define those two terms, which are more often than not unknown or unclear. You can read more definitions on the Define page, and the Disclaimers at the bottom (in short, these definitions are my interpretations of the terms, nothing more).
What is Neutrois?
Neutrois are agendered or neutral-gendered. Neutrois are the transsexual of agendered. They experience a sense of gender dysphoria – discomfort at being in “the wrong body” – one that doesn’t correctly reflect their internal gender. Furthermore, they have a strong desire to change their body to reflect this internal gender. Transition is a process of subtraction: a neutrois wishes to get rid of any and all gendered characteristics so as to achieve as neutral a body as possible. Physical transition may consist primarily in the removal of primary and/or secondary sex characteristics, such as penis or breasts and body hair. Because the concept and identity of neutrois is relatively new, not all neutrois have undergone surgery, or even seriously want to undergo surgery or physical transition yet.
Neutrois is not androgyne, it’s quite the opposite. Androgyny is a combination of female and male characteristics, while neutrois is an elimination of them.
Neutrois is not genderless. While the prefix a- in agender may hint at a “lack of,” neutrois is not a lack of gender. Just like a neutral color does not mean colorless, or a neutral opinion does not mean without opinion, a neutral gender does mean without gender. Neutrois do have an internal gender, it just happens to be neither male, nor female. It’s neutral.
Neutrois are people, first and foremost. I am Neutrois. And all I want is to be happy 🙂
What is Asexuality?
Asexuals do not experience sexual attraction. There are many flavors of asexuality, the most divisive distinction being that of romantic orientation. There are aromantic and romantic asexuals, depending on whether one experiences romantic attraction or seeks romantic involvement with others. Asexuals can also identify as hetero-, homo-, bi-, pan-, etc- a/romantic asexual, depending on the primary gender of the target attractor. There are repulsed and non-repulsed asexuals, mostly indicating a willingness (not desire) to engage in any related acts. There’s grey/gray and demi designations, which are not entirely clear to me. I am a homoflexible-romantic asexual, ish.
The desire to engage in some form of sexual act with a particular person, the recipient of the attraction. This feeling has also been described as: the instant physical crush on first look, wanting to jump someone’s bones, wanting to get physical with someone who is hot, finding someone sexy and wanting to act sexually on this appeal, and probably many more cruder and/or scientific ways.
The desire to engage in some form of romantic attachment with a particular person, the recipient of the attraction. This feeling has also been described as: being in love, having a slight obsession, being emotionally vested, wanting to get to know someone, a personality crush, and probably many more sappy and corny ways.
While my end goal is not to give a 101 training, one of my main objectives IS to achieve a greater understanding of others, and ourselves. If any of this is unclear, dubiously explained, or left unsaid, feel free to comment or ask about it.
6 thoughts on “Definitions”
These are great definitions that help clarify these concepts to both people identifying with the and people that don’t get it that easily. The only thing I wanted to ask you if to clarify what you meant when you say
“Neutrois are the transsexual of agendered”
Grey/gray and demi- (I am fairly sure) refer to people who do not usually experience sexual attraction, but may experience attraction to a specific person after they have been in a relationship with eir for a period of time, the time period differing depending on the person.
I’ve been separating attraction and desire out when I define things. It seems that people can be attracted to other people without actually wanting to have sex with them.
“Neutrois are the transsexual of agendered”
People whose gender identity is agender may not necessarily experience physical dysphoria, or they do not want to alter their body to match their gender identity (some are comfortable with it, some are not bothered, some don’t care either way). Neutrois are agendered AND they do experience dysphoria AND want to change their body to reflect their gender, hence why they are not only transgendered but also transsexual.
Thanks for the clarification. I think grey/gray and/or demi might also indicate a lingering but rare sexual attraction, although I may be wrong. But gray/grey gets into befuddled territory (I was only aiming for basic definitions). And yes, desire and attraction, and also willingness to act on desire, are key distinctions in asexuality.
This is a very great post. I may have to show this to people when trying to explain my gender and/or sexuality. Thanks so much, this really helped with my understanding of agender/neutrois. 🙂
These definitions make a certain amount of sense to me. Can one be agendered but not asexual? I’ve been working on my own issues of gender identity, but my sexuality (who I’m attracted to and to what degree) haven’t really been issues for me-I’ve had that worked out for quite a while (pansexual).
I’m female bodied and have two children, but my reproductive organs (the internal ones as well as breasts, aka free milk production and human pacifier devices indispensable for lazy attachment parenting) I have come to see as neccesary only to the extent that I have a use for them. I’d as soon not be burdened with them once their usefulness has passed (once I’ve decided I’m done having children, which I may well be, and the youngest is done with the free food supply)
Sexuality and gender are orthogonal / independent: you can be any sexual orientation with any combination of gender identity. I mean, it’s who you are so who’s to say it’s impossible? It just so happens that a lot of agender people are also asexual – at least the ones writing about it are – but certainly not _all_ agender people are asexual.
What’s interesting to me is that you’ve used those “bits” that you’d prefer to get rid. For a lot of people (me included) that would be very uncomfortable, but there are other transpeople who do get pregnant and nurse. It looks to be something of a personal preference / comfort level.