Just a short update, to make it an even seven. Slept a very long overdue long nap today, enjoying my last day before going home (tomorrow) and starting work again (on Tuesday, from home). I’m also watching the Oscars, which I haven’t done since I left for college like six years ago… no seven years (gasp!) Here’s today picture, and some commentary. I took a … Continue reading Lazy Sunday
Talking is the best therapy, and talking is something I practice and enjoy quite a lot. My significant other and I have been talking about my recent feelings, so far drawing a few key conclusions. I’ve dubbed this emotional state post-surgical depression or post-operative depression. At first it seemed it could be similar to post-partum depression, but after some initial research it seems depression and … Continue reading Post-Surgical Depression
It’s been a rough 24 hours since the last post. In honor of the fourth day, here are the four major highlights. One: Panic Attack Yesterday I had a panic attack. I’ve had them before, but this has been by far the worst one, as it was the first where it was completely out of my control. My wonderful and brave significant other was rewrapping … Continue reading 24×4
Nightly Delirium Last night I read an interesting blog post over at Jamie/James’ blog, which has stirred up much discussion in my head. One part particularly stood out: The truth is, it’s almost always easier to feel angry than to feel even momentarily powerless. It is easier to say, “I hate my high school,” than to say, “I couldn’t make the people there respect me.” … Continue reading And on the Third Day….
Today I feel much better. It’s probably due to the fact that all I’ve done is sleep and eat, but a big factor is also that I finally took off my bandages. I was disappointed that the doctor didn’t take them off yesterday, since the tightness was already too much to bear, but somewhat a little relieved as I wasn’t ready to see what was … Continue reading Second Day Update
I made it out in one piece, sort of. The first 24 hours have been quite surreal, as I have only been fully conscious for about 1 hour, at most. Monday We got to the hospital at 7:30am, and the nurse at the front desk took us to the day surgery area, where 5 nurses immediately pounced on me, offering to get me started. They … Continue reading 24 Hours Post-Op
Body Down for Maintenance I’m just removing some hardware right now, I’ll deal with the software later. Continue reading Top Surgery Day
Friday night, midnight. And what am I doing? Writing. Because I’m so anxious, so excited and nervous and my mind can’t stop thinking but can’t focus either. I’m wired. So I’ll take this opportunity to let it out. I’d be going all over this in my mind anyway, while attempting to fall asleep, in vain. I have a huge headache from all the anxiety. I’m … Continue reading Last Minute Concerns
(Because anything good always has seconds) Speaking of Seconds… A mere 7 days to go, 168 hours, 10,080 minutes, 604,800 seconds* (*approximations only) before I board a plane to my long-awaited destination. And as each day passes, the second-thoughts thoughts mellow. For second thoughts I have had more than just two. Among my ever pestering conundrums are: am I doing the right thing? should I … Continue reading Top Surgery, part 2
I’m queer. I take queer to mean anything other than strictly heterosexual (with emphasis on strictly), but this word means different things for each person, so to clarify, this is my meaning and my identity. (Never forget, this blog is about me, me, me). Queer just means strange, different, other, and the majority of everyday occurences remind me of how strange I am, how other … Continue reading What am I?
genderqueer.me 