Monday marks two weeks since top surgery. After showering yesterday I changed the medical tape on the incisions, and managed to snap some pictures of the real deal. Additionally as of today I don’t have to wear the ace bandage wrap 24/7, just when I’m active, which means I’ll need to get used to wearing, for the first time in over 10 years, absolutely nothing … Continue reading Two Week Notice
Specifically, My Significant Other There is someone very special in my life, and I feel truly (and this is one of the rare times I’ll say this word) blessed. I feel blessed because I feel more than just lucky and more than just happy. I’ve found someone who helped me find my happiness, helped me build it, helped me nurture it, and who has helped … Continue reading Significant Others
Talking is the best therapy, and talking is something I practice and enjoy quite a lot. My significant other and I have been talking about my recent feelings, so far drawing a few key conclusions. I’ve dubbed this emotional state post-surgical depression or post-operative depression. At first it seemed it could be similar to post-partum depression, but after some initial research it seems depression and … Continue reading Post-Surgical Depression
It’s been a rough 24 hours since the last post. In honor of the fourth day, here are the four major highlights. One: Panic Attack Yesterday I had a panic attack. I’ve had them before, but this has been by far the worst one, as it was the first where it was completely out of my control. My wonderful and brave significant other was rewrapping … Continue reading 24×4
Nightly Delirium Last night I read an interesting blog post over at Jamie/James’ blog, which has stirred up much discussion in my head. One part particularly stood out: The truth is, it’s almost always easier to feel angry than to feel even momentarily powerless. It is easier to say, “I hate my high school,” than to say, “I couldn’t make the people there respect me.” … Continue reading And on the Third Day….
Today I feel much better. It’s probably due to the fact that all I’ve done is sleep and eat, but a big factor is also that I finally took off my bandages. I was disappointed that the doctor didn’t take them off yesterday, since the tightness was already too much to bear, but somewhat a little relieved as I wasn’t ready to see what was … Continue reading Second Day Update
I made it out in one piece, sort of. The first 24 hours have been quite surreal, as I have only been fully conscious for about 1 hour, at most. Monday We got to the hospital at 7:30am, and the nurse at the front desk took us to the day surgery area, where 5 nurses immediately pounced on me, offering to get me started. They … Continue reading 24 Hours Post-Op
(Because anything good always has seconds) Speaking of Seconds… A mere 7 days to go, 168 hours, 10,080 minutes, 604,800 seconds* (*approximations only) before I board a plane to my long-awaited destination. And as each day passes, the second-thoughts thoughts mellow. For second thoughts I have had more than just two. Among my ever pestering conundrums are: am I doing the right thing? should I … Continue reading Top Surgery, part 2
I’m queer. I take queer to mean anything other than strictly heterosexual (with emphasis on strictly), but this word means different things for each person, so to clarify, this is my meaning and my identity. (Never forget, this blog is about me, me, me). Queer just means strange, different, other, and the majority of everyday occurences remind me of how strange I am, how other … Continue reading What am I?
Top Surgery, in t minus 2 weeks The main reason I started this blog right now, as opposed to postponing it indefinitely, is because I’m scheduled for top surgery in t minus 2 weeks (not that T, this t). Actually, “2 weeks to go” was when I gathered up enough inertia to start writing, but as of today it’s more like t minus 10, very … Continue reading Top Surgery
genderqueer.me 